Sunday, May 31, 2009

In law or Outlaw

So last week my mom called me and told me she sprained her ankle...and she asked me if I would come and help take care of the house and my little brother and sister.  Of course I was more than happy to go because they live about and hour and a half away and this was a chance to spend time with them and get a break from my mother in laws house.

So I go and I figured I would stay for about a week.  My husband clearly aware of my plans.  So on Sunday as I was packing my things to head home, I get a text from my sister in law saying:  "Hey...don't wanna get into your business,  but maybe you should think about coming home. Adam could really use your help."  Now tell me if I am crazy, but I was irate!  She had the nerve to tell me I should come home and help my husband as if he was incapable of telling me himself. My husband and I are adults and will decide when I come home!  It was none of her business when I came home!  

And I called her...we had our words, and I hung up on her after I was called the "B" word!  {Didn't want to type it out in case there are little ones eyes around!}

When my husband called to confront her and tell her that she had no right butting in our business, she proceeded to tell him that our marriage has problems!  WHAT!?!?! News to me!  

Mind you, this is the sister in law that just got married, the one I helped do the Bachelorette party, wedding stuff, paint her house, babysit her kids and dog, etc.etc... and she still has yet to offer helping us do anything to ours!

I don't know what to do!  I hate confrontation, and drama!  I really think people should mind their own business...I would never have done that to her or anyone for that matter.  I am not that type of person!  I don't know what to do.  If I don't move into that house soon {which by the way is 2 houses down from hers} and out of my mother in laws house,  I am going to freak out and go on a crazy rampage!!!

Wow!  That feels good to vent!  Oh and by the way I stepped on a nail today, it went threw my shoe into my heal, doesn't feel the greatest!

So might I say that I am so stressed out!  From this house to my Etsy orders.  I should have waited to start my Etsy store!  I really did not think that I would be selling so much!  Not that it is a bad thing but when I am working on orders and not my house, people think I am just sitting around crafting!?!  I wish!

Sorry about the long post....we all know sometimes we just need it!

Please let me know if anyone else is lucky enough to have in laws like mine!?!


19 comments:

Maggi said...

Yikes, sorry you have to go through all of that! I hope you can move into the house soon!!!

Julie Tucker-Wolek said...

That is *#&$#^%@)_Q&%#)@*($#*&)!@!!!! I won't use the real words either ( for little kids sake!! LOL! ) If your Adam didn't call U himself, then she should have minded her own business.....right now...I have like the BEST in-laws in the world...but MY EX-Mother-in-law (My sons Grandma)....helped my Ex-husband kidnap my son at the beginning of our break-up...soooooooooo let's just say, she still ISN'T my FAVE person....LOL! :):):):) Sorry bout the nail too....keep an eye on that....that can be dangerous! {{{HUGS!!!}}} :):):):):):):):):):):):):):)

MeganSloan said...

Good luck. I know how inlaws can be but luckily I don't live close enough to mine to deal with every day issues. I hate when people want you in their business all the time and that gives them the reasoning behind them getting in your business. As long as you and hubby are fine, that's all that matters.

jacque4u2c said...

Girl I so feel your pain - I have been married 10 years and still go through this type of junk!!! Hey that is why we are here - to VENT!!! Just let it rip!!!!!!

Farmgirl Paints said...

This is the one and only luxury of living away from family. There are so many things that we miss, but drama is not one of them. My heart goes out to you.

Taryn said...

Oh dear- I am so sorry. Newlyweds think they understand everyone else's relationships. (Ok- maybe I thought I knew better than other couples way back when- but I never said anything about it. And now I realize that everyone is different! I remember thinking, "Oh, I ao so glad I am not married to a man that does ____." Or "I wonder how they will make it if they never _____." She must think that if her husband left her for a week like that she would be pissed. So she is telling you your husband is upset. But it is not her business! And she had no right to call you a b**ch. Name calling is so middle school, and it doesn't help anything. That is ridiculous. I am sorry. You sure got some good ones! = )

DomesticDivasFancy said...

I love you girls!

HUGS!

Ashley

Stephanie said...

Keep taking the high road. Family stuff can get so sticky sometimes. Although there was really no reason for SIL to phone you. Try really hard not to rock the boat and try even harder not to say ugly things about your MIL or SIL to your hubby...remember he loves them! By all means let him know that their behavior is hurtful to you,but do so in as nice a way as possible. Have you tried the "Kill them with kindness" bit yet...worked well for me! My SIL and MIL are probably best friends with yours...not my favorite people...but after 16 year I have learned that I can't change them, they are what they are (hateful and all) and they are still my hubby's sister and Mom and he loves them. How such a nice guy came from that I will NEVER know!Lickily we live about 4 hours away from them so they are not in my life everyday. Bless your heart with them being soooo close. I know it's got to be hard and I'm praying for you.

Meagan said...

I'm so sorry you're dealing with crazies!! I definitely feel where you're coming from. Good luck and I hope things get better!!!

jenjen said...

Wow - that is craaazy! She sounds like she was way out of line. Sorry you are having all of that drama. It will be so much better when you get in your own space.

((hugs))
Jen

a King's daughter said...

I can totally relate to your situation. I've lived with that from my in-laws for 22 years. Thankfully, the last 11 years we moved from the family compound, I mean family farm ;-), and that really helped. We still have our moments, but I too hate the drama, and avoid them as much as possible. Sad, but true. It takes two to have peace, but only one to walk away. I pray your situation gets worked out. Cling to your husband. Your covenant with him is more important to you both than either family of in-laws.

karlene said...

I am super sorry for you!

Ann said...

SO sorry you are having to deal with such childish drama! Just tell your SIL to BUTT OUT!!!!
(((((hugs)))))

SoBella Creations said...

I'm so sorry your dealing with this. My inlaws called me Mother's Day weekend and had words with me. Needless to say I'm done with them.

sony said...

Awww Ashley, I'm so sorry that you had to deal with such an ignorant situation. Clearly there is something much greater in you than is in some of the ppl around you, or this weight wouldn't have been put on you from out of the blue. I realize that there are two sides to every story, but the fact is that you have been there for her in a tremendous way, & no one should have inconsiderate advice thrown at them, especially when you didn't even ask.

I don't want to stir this any further & get you more upset, but as I have learned with my own fiance, you truly cannot please everyone. As long as you communicate & keeo the love with him, that's all that matters. We all hate the outside haters, & I wish people would back off sometimes. You are alot like me, as I hate confrontation, & am generally more of the peacemaker who would do anything for anybody, so it hurts when ppl come at you with nonsense.

Keep your plans the way you have them, & although those Etsy orders may be bittersweet, thank God that you are so talented & the word is spreading to bring in more income. Please pace yourself though. Even if you have to put an announcement up on your store that orders will take "x" amount of time, & just extend it. Buyers will understand, & if they (we) really need it badly enough, we will usually pay a little extra, which is an incentive for you!! Keep your head up & if there is anything that I can do at all, please let me know. If I need to roll up there & give somebody a noogie, just text me, lol. ::Tight hugs::

Walking on Sunshine... said...

Wow, how insensitive of her to call you when all you were doing was helping your mom in a tough situation!!! Not like you were out partying with friends or something!! How completely rude and out of line she was! Hope your day is going better, hope your mom is better, hope hubby is happy and you are less stressed with all you have going on!!!

Sarah said...

Here's the best advice I can give you...take it really, and you will have no regrets. ALWAYS take the higher road. ALWAYS. Don't react to confrontation, just ignore it. She will be the one with regrets even if she doesn't show it. You will always be able to say you did NOTHING to warrant her behavior, cursing, immature behavior. I wish I had someone to tell me that in the beginning of my marriage.

Ashley@AshleysBusy said...

Oh Ashley, what a dreadful situation. I totally agree with Sarah above. It's always better to take the high road. And when it all come down to it, if you and your husband are good, then you and your husband are good. Even if they are neighbors, and even if they are family, it's your life, not theirs. Thank goodness both my parents and my inlaws leave us to our own.

Unfortunately, my drama is in the form of my very own sister. She's the "frenemy." Every time I talk to her, I get frustrated and on the verge of tears. But she's my sister. So what can I do? I just do my best to get over whatever it is that she's stressing me out over this time.

Best advice, on this topic and anything else in life:

Always stay true to yourself.

Katie said...

OMG Ashley that completely stinks! She does need to mind her own beeswax. Buzz off for sure, wish I could tell you that things will get better. I am glad to here your husband had the you know whats to stand up for you! I mean it's not like you were off at the spa, NOT that it would've mattered if you were but c'mon you were helping your injured mother. Guess your SIL would've had real issues with the state of my parents' marriage, after all my mom did quit her job and fly out to NM to take care of me for seven weeks and then stayed four more after ER was born, LOL! She needs to get a life.